The arms of my soulmate
by Josefine Moony
Summary: *clompleted* Written when Severus was a student in Slytherin. His childhoodfriend gets into Gryffindor, and suddenly it's hard to keep their friendship alive. But when something very sad happens to Severus'
1. The letter

A/n: Oki doki, here it is… It's not completed yet, but I'll keep uploading chapters if you all want to see what happens. Enjoy!  
  
  
  
Prologue…  
  
Believe it or not, but before Severus Snape started at Hogwarts (and of course got into Slytherin), he had a childhood friend. Her name was Avalon, a girl he had been secretly playing with sins they where eight years old. Severus' father was of course a Death Eater, and wouldn't like his son to be spending time with a girl that was born in a half-mudblood family. But Severus didn't care about that when he was so young, Avalon was like his soul mate. He could come to her when his father had been beating him, or his mother, and Avalon would always let him stay in her room all night. She would sing to him until he fell asleep, and then silently stroke his head and watch over him, 'cause sometimes it happened that his mother came by to bring him back home.  
  
And then, as it was their turn to travel to Hogwarts, they swore to each other that they would stay together, just like before. And what happened? Severus got sorted into Slytherin, which wasn't really surprising, and Avalon got sorted into Gryffindor, which wasn't such a big surprise either, giving it a thought. The two friends were but in front of a dilemma, they hadn't thought of this before… Avalon's family were all Gryffindors, and Severus was bound to be a Slytherin. Would their friendship survive this?  
  
Severus was walking past a big window on his way back from detention one late Saturday night, as he stopped and took a step closer to the glass.  
  
The rain was falling hard on the Hogwarts grounds, and it was hard to make anything out in the dark, but Severus was sure he had seen some-one standing by the lake.  
  
A lightening flashed in the sky, and for a second, the entire lake was lit up. Severus gasped, he could recognise the long, wild curtain of black- brown hair on the back of the person's head. As the dark again lay over the ground, Severus took off down the corridor and made a turn to find the entrance hall. He was wearing a big, black cloak, which's hood he drew over his head as he opened the big oak door and narrowed his eyes in the rain.  
  
Avalon was standing in front of the lake, her hood was down, and he could see from long distance that she was completely soaking.  
  
"Oh, Christ…" he mumbled, and quickly made his way over the wet grass.  
  
"Avalon!" He screamed through the rough wind and the splattering noises of the rain hitting the surface of the lake. "Avalon, what are you doing? You're going to catch the flue!" The girl stood still, pale in her face, looking over the landscape in silence.  
  
"Don't you wanna come in?" Severus asked, trying to make himself heard.  
  
Avalon turned her head and looked lamely at him. Now Severus could see her green eyes were filled up with tears; it wasn't just the rain that was flowing down her cheeks.  
  
"Why?" She demanded, not as loud as Severus, but somehow, it was easier to hear each other when you were standing face to face.  
  
"Because it's raining!" Severus exclaimed, gesturing wildly with his hands towards the dark night-sky.  
  
"Exactly…" Avalon turned her face up against the clouds and closed her eyes.  
  
Severus sighed.  
  
"Are you upset about our houses again, Avalon, 'cause I thought we could live with this?"  
  
"It's hard, but you're right, I can live with that."  
  
"Then what, what is it?" He didn't get an answer this time. Severus looked at her hood; totally soaking wet…  
  
"Then at least let me give you some shelter!" Severus gripped the side of his big cloak, and held a part of it over her head, to make the rain stop splashing down all over her.  
  
Avalon turned to Severus and caught his eyes seriously.  
  
"Do you remember all those times I stood up for you and comforted you when you were upset, Severus? Before we came to Hogwarts?" Severus wrinkled his forehead.  
  
"Of course I do, Avalon! You always took care of me." Avalon bit her lip and Severus wondered if it really was the cold that made her shiver so violently.  
  
"Well, now I think I'm the one who needs a friend, 'cause I think I'm dying inside."  
  
"What…?" Severus held his breath patiently. Avalon bit her lip.  
  
"It's my parents… They…"  
  
"Avalon?" The girl was now sobbing violently, and moaning words he couldn't hear the meaning of. "My God Avalon, what has happen?" But now she was crying so helplessly, he couldn't hear what she was saying between her sobs. But as she had thrown her arms around his neck, something had fallen out of her hand. Severus picked up a soaking wet letter, written from the Ministry of Magic.  
  
1.1  
  
1.2 Dear miss Lambert,  
  
1.3 It is our sad duty that we have to inform you about a terrible event that took place last night. A group of Death Eaters found their way to the Lamberts' house, and brutally killed Ben and Gillian, claiming that Mr Lambert was a shame of the wizard raze for choosing a muggle-wife. One of the Death Eaters was captured, and will be in brought into court on next Sunday.  
  
We are terribly sorry for your loss, and hope you will contact us regarding the prisoner's trial.  
  
My honest regards – Cornelius Fudge  
  
This couldn't be true. Severus stared at the paper. He just couldn't tear his eyes away, as if he was in some kind of shock.  
  
Avalon's parents… were dead?  
  
1.3.1 A/n: End of first chapter, it will happen much more exiting things in the next one…  
  
So review now! Ya know it's gonna be fluffy later… 


	2. I've got your back

A/n: Thanx you guys! Decided to give you another chapter! Sorry for the delay, I am such a dust-head I couldn't figure out how to continue this story, then I realised it's bloody obvious!  
  
2: I'VE GOT YOUR BACK  
  
It turned out to be one of those weekends when Severus just wished he was back at the Snape mansion, much rather being pushed around by his father than living through a hell like this. It had started out with a big Slytherin loss in the Quidditch match against Gryffindor at Saturday, Avalon loved teasing Severus when her house won over theirs, and then he and Lucius Malfoy had gotten into a BIG fight with the Potter-gang, which by the way gave them a detention, and now THIS. Avalon had been so happy and careless lately, and then her owl comes flying in with a letter saying her parents are murdered and their house is in ruins.  
  
Even though Severus never talked about in front of Lucius or his other Slytherin-friends, he had a very weak spot for Avalon. Seeing her happy made him happy, and seeing her sad made him devastated.  
  
Severus kicked the door open into Slytherin common room, carrying Avalon in his embrace. Lucius was sitting in front of the fire, quite pissed off after the Quidditch match and the detentions the fight had given them. When he saw whom Severus was carrying across the room towards the dorms, he scowled loudly.  
  
"Geez, Severus, you've gotta be kidding! The girl's a fucking Gryffindor, if you absolutely have to hump her, at least keep her off Slytherin property!"  
  
"Shut the fuck up, Malfoy." Severus snarled and kicked to the doors open into the dorms before locking it behind him.  
  
Severus laid Avalon down on his bed and started pulling the curtains of the four-poster shut. Avalon was apparently still in some kind of shock; she was just starring into nothing, breathing erratically, and shaking violently.  
  
"I- I can't…" she stammered. "Why- I don't…" her voice broke off again.  
  
"Sch, sch." Severus quickly lay down next to her and tried to make her lay still. "Hush, try to relax, come on now…" But Avalon was trembling still as he took her in his arms and held her tightly. "Oh fuck you're cold, Avalon…" He whispered desperately, and kissed her fingers before taking her hands in his, rubbing them slightly.  
  
Avalon tried to stop crying, but it didn't work out too well.  
  
"I- I'm sorry…" She sobbed. Severus looked into her pale-green eyes and shook his head.  
  
"Oh it's okay, Avalon, it's okay, it comes to you sooner or later just… let it out."  
  
"I just can't imagine that they're actually gone… forever." She whispered weakly, and Severus quickly buried her in his embrace before she could see the tears welling up in his dark eyes.  
  
  
  
Later on, the very same night, Lucius finally decided to go to bed. He stepped into the dorms and made his way over to Severus' bed. He smirked slightly to himself as he saw the closed curtains, and then ripped one of them aside, only to find that Lambert-crap fully dressed and asleep in Severus' arms.  
  
"What the heck, what good is that mudblood for if she still has her clothes on?" Severus gave him a murder-look and hissed angrily:  
  
"Say anything more loud enough to awake her, and I'll choke you before you even have the time to scream." Lucius was not the guy who usually got scared of others who threatened him, but he knew Severus was a man of his words. "Now, close the fucking curtain and go to bed, QUIETLY." Lucius obeyed, and Severus put his head back on the pillow. He turned his head towards Avalon, and let his eyes wander across her face as she slept peacefully in his arms.  
  
God knows she does not deserve something like this, he thought to himself. Avalon stirred a little in his embrace, and then exhaled clearly. Severus brought his index finger to her face and pushed away a wet streak of dark- brown hair from her forehead. I'm there for you, Avalon… he thought.  
  
Whatever you decide to do from here, I've got your back.  
  
  
  
Following up: Avalon decides to be present at the captured Death Eater's trial, and the story between her and Severus takes a complicated twist. Severus gets put in front of a quite tricky situation, and he has to decide what means the most to him in his life; Avalon or… his family's honour!  
  
Again, I have to apologise for my writing, as you know English is not my native language, but I'm getting better and better.  
  
When I continue this, the chapters will be longer and much more interesting.  
  
REVIEW!!! (…please.) 


	3. The Death Eater

3: THE DEATH EATER  
  
Severus awoke feeling a fresh breeze from the open window. In a strange way, he felt more tired than before he fell asleep.  
  
He looked down and found he was staring into a pair of pale blue-green eyes. Avalon was lying pressed up against his chest, and was gazing up at him thoughtfully. Severus could barely force a comforting smile onto his lips.  
  
"Have you been awake long?" Avalon still didn't smile, but her expression changed and she looked more comfortable.  
  
"You're late for class," she whispered. "Lucius and the others left for breakfast half an hour ago." Severus frowned at this.  
  
"He didn't wake you up… did he?" Avalon shook her head slightly.  
  
"No…"  
  
"You're a bad liar." Avalon laughed quietly.  
  
"I guess I am." Severus gritted his teeth together, Lucius was to be confronted later on…  
  
"That nosy little git…"  
  
"… doesn't get to me at all." Avalon filled in.  
  
Severus held his lips together and dropped the subject. He just liked having Avalon in his arms, for the first time since many years before they had come to Hogwarts.  
  
"Don't worry, I'll skip classes today." He yawned and looked around a bit.  
  
"You shouldn't."  
  
"Why not? You're not in classes." There was no answer, and then Severus remembered. *Fuck, fuck, fuck! The girl's parents just died!* He mentally smacked himself on the forehead. Avalon lowered her gaze quietly.  
  
"S- Sorry…" Severus stammered.  
  
"No harm, I'm not staying in bed all day, I have other reasons to take this day off." And with that, Avalon crawled out of his grip and slid down from the bed. Severus sat up and watched her take off her robes that were still just a bit wet from the rain outside. (By the way, she wore jeans and a T- shirt beneath it!)  
  
"What reasons?" He tried not to sound demanding in any way, but Avalon knew he wouldn't let her leave before he got an answer.  
  
Avalon turned towards him while combing her messy hair forcefully.  
  
"I'm going to court, Severus. Before you woke up I sent an owl back to the Ministry, the trial of the Death Eater will be set this afternoon." She could see Severus' face-colour fade slightly, and he bit his lip in a way that told Avalon this was not something he liked.  
  
"And I'm going to be there." She finished, making it fully clear she wasn't going to change her mind about this.  
  
She turned away again, and looked at herself in the mirror in front of her.  
  
"Good god girl, you're a living wreck!" The mirror declared. Avalon smirked sarcastically and started collecting her hair in a braid.  
  
She noticed Severus watching her from his bed in the mirror, and said:  
  
"God dammit, Severus, just say it before you'll bite your bottom lip off."  
  
"I don't want you to go." She turned around and met his eyes seriously.  
  
"But I am…" Severus lowered his eyes to the floor and sighed heavily.  
  
"I just don't think this is going to help you get over your parents."  
  
Avalon walked up to him sitting on the bed and grasped his hand.  
  
"If you hadn't found me yesterday I would've still been standing out there by sunrise, frozen to death or something." Severus still avoided her eyes carefully. Avalon felt the tears welling up in her throat. "I can't go through this alone… I- I can't go through this without *you* okay? I've saved you before, and now you saved me. Just please don't turn your back on me now! Please…"  
  
Before she could say anything else Severus pulled her to him and held her gently, his eyes still at the floor.  
  
"I would never…" he whispered. "Promise. I wouldn't… ever."  
  
"Okay…" she whispered and let go of his hand. "Will you come with me?"  
  
This was something Severus did not expect.  
  
*Oh god, what if the Death Eater is… maybe he's a friend of my family. Fuck, what if my father is there to defend him! *  
  
"Of course I will."  
  
  
  
(A/N: This trial of mine is supposed to take place at that dungeon-like courtroom that the Crouch-trial took place at in the Goblet of Fire. You know when Harry touched the Pensieve and falls into Dumbledore's memory of the trial. This is taking place at the same cold, stone-like courtroom.)  
  
  
  
The courtroom, that could be called nothing else but a dungeon, was filling up with wizards from all of the country. Avalon didn't know her parents had been this well connected. Some of them she recognised as her father's working-partners, and some of them she had never seen before. No family was there, no aunts, uncles or cousins; Avalon guessed they didn't want to have anything to do with the complications this trial would conjure.  
  
In brief descriptions, the room was big and round, covered with benches encircling a plain spot of the solid stone-floor. In the middle, there was a wooden chair, nailed to the floor, with chains on its arms. The benches rose in levels, so that everyone would have a clear view of what was going on at the centre.  
  
The courtroom sent chills up on your spine, not to mention the chair in the middle.  
  
Avalon had greeted the members of the Ministry of Magic that would lead the trial, and she was careful to keep Severus out of it. She knew in what circles his family had their connections, and this was not the place for him to show up.  
  
Now, the two youngsters took place at the back row, not wanting any attention drawn to themselves. Severus noticed Avalon was very tensed; she kept pushing straws of her hair back from her face and looking around with big eyes. Every time someone made a noise as they settled down in the courtroom, Avalon jumped in surprise, and her grip on they bench beneath her hardened.  
  
Severus looked down at her hand, then broke it free from its grip and took it in his. Avalon's breathing then steadied slightly, and she relaxed her shoulders.  
  
Dumbledore arrived, and this was something that made Avalon very, *very* nervous. To think of it, it was pretty obvious that he would attend in the trial, but she was sure he would want to talk to her afterwards.  
  
To hers and Severus' relief, no one else sat down on the last row. The others were all seated at the front, as a door opened.  
  
Led by two Dementors, a man whose head was covered with a black hood stumbled in, and the members of the Ministry rose from their seats behind the square table in front of the chair. Whispers filled the courtroom as the Dementors pushed the man down to sit in the chair. Avalon didn't not move at all, Severus wasn't even sure she was breathing. She was just staring at the weak man being chained to the chair by his escort.  
  
So this was the man who was partly responsible for her parents' death. In simpler words, this man had killed her parents. She wanted to see his face; she wanted to know what he looked like.  
  
Cornelius Fudge, the youngest of the members from the Ministry, spoke:  
  
"We are here to bring this follower of Lord Voldemort into justice, arrested for the murder of Mr and Mrs Lambert," the black hood was ripped off by one of the Dementors, and a pale, snake-like face showed beneath it, Fudge growled in disgust,  
  
"Mr Snape."  
  
  
  
A/n: OOOOPS! Now I want to hear a big "WHAT??!!" coming out of all of you! One, two, three… WHAT??!! *Hides behind my desk* Oh this is so horrible! Sorry to leave it like this, but I really have to take a piss… Kidding! The next chapter will be up soon, I just loooove cliffhangers, don't you? They're so much fun!  
  
Thanks to all of you, especially Lady Doncaster! You're my angel!  
  
  
  
Next: The trial. This is where everything happens. 


	4. Isolated

Author's Note: Hello!!! I'm sorry this took so long for me to write, but when I opened up the new document, I was like "what the fuck is gonna happen now??!!"  
  
I mean, can it GET any worse?? Poor, Severus, first the Quidditch game, then the fight with Potter, detention, saving Avalon, and then yippee dee fucking doo da, his FATHER killed his best friend's parents!  
  
But I've finally figured it out! Sorry for the delay everyone, here is chapter 4 of my story about Snape and the person he loved before he became the bitter one he is today; Avalon Lambert.  
  
By the way This, bla bla blaa… is supposed to show a person's thoughts.  
  
  
  
4: ISOLATED  
  
"Mr Snape."  
  
Whatever thoughts should've been running through Severus that moment, didn't. They just didn't, because the vision of his father chained to that chair seemed so distant, too unbelievable. He didn't realise he had stopped breathing. Of course every sense of him told him that this wasn't just one of those terrifying nightmares he was used to waking up from, it was the ultimate ending of this little nightmare-weekend he was going through.  
  
Severus wanted to scream, he wanted to stand up and scream at the top of his lungs, or else this would suffocate him and he would have a black out on the spot. Oh he wanted it so badly, to scream at the sight of his father's craggy face, at his hint of a smile in the corner of his lips as Fudge growled out his name, and the glint of self-satisfaction in his eyes.  
  
But Severus didn't scream, he barely made himself take a shuddering breath. The world collapsed around him as he felt Avalon's hand, letting go of his, slipping away from him, trembling with fear, as if the murderer of her family was now sitting next to her.  
  
They just kept staring; neither of them could take their eyes of the man at the centre. The rest of the trial didn't reach Severus' ears; he could only hear his own blood pounding. He didn't know if Avalon was listening, but she didn't move a muscle.  
  
This moment seemed to go on for hours, which it probably did. As the men from the Ministry circled the prisoner, asking questions, laying up proofs, Severus didn't hear a thing. A instinct flew through his head, telling him maybe he should get up and run, but Severus was suddenly very afraid his father might seem him. What if he saw him, sitting in the back row, watching his father's trial? He couldn't even think of what would happen then.  
  
A wooden hammer was hit against the table, and Severus suddenly snapped back in time to hear the words: …"for a lifetime in Azkaban." Severus' heart started beating so fast he thought he was going to burst any second. Suddenly the courtroom was filled with movement and noise. The Dementors unleashed Mr Snape from the chains and grabbed a steady hold of him before putting his hood back on. The prisoner was not supposed to see which ways he was taken. But first, he gazed at Severus' way. Severus turned and saw Avalon staring right back into his father's cold eyes, and then, when he turned back, Mr Snape caught eye of Severus, and as he actually saw who he was looking at, his face paled even more. And then his eyes were gone, hidden by the black hood as the Dementors dragged him out of the courtroom. The door slammed, and Severus would never see his father again.  
  
Now he felt Avalon's eyes upon him. He dared to meat her gaze, prepared for hatred, anger and revulsion, but all he saw was sorrow, confusion and helplessness. She didn't know what to do, what to think, how to act. And Severus couldn't stand that look. Starting to shake violently, he tore his eyes from her and stormed out of the courtroom, he fled from all of it. This was more than he could take.  
  
  
  
Severus stormed into the dormitory; the door almost broke as it flew open when he burst through it. I… I can't breath… He stumbled into the room and leaned against a small table next to window.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHH!!!" Severus grabbed a hold of the tray with his latest potion homework and threw it across the room in such a force the small bottles of blue and purple liquid plashed over the wall, leaving dripping stains. They seventeen year old boy stood dead still for a moment and watched the mess he had created, then let his head drop to his chest, the black hair falling in his face. And empty tears fell from his closed eyes, landed on the carpet, created a small wet stain , and then he fell to the floor, too weak to hold control of his body or his feelings.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, Avalon was standing outside the secret enter of the Slytherin common room, starting to get really desperate. She didn't know the password.  
  
  
  
A N: Sorry I stopped here, it got a little short, but the next one I reckon will be looong. I've got a heated so called "discussion" coming up for Severus and Avalon.  
  
Here are some of the lines that will come up in the next chapter, just to get you anxious to read it:  
  
"*I* washed that blood from your face, *I* saw you fall asleep with bruises covering your entire body. Don't tell me I don't know!"  
  
"I feel like and orphan!"  
  
"I probably should break my wand, I guess it's a danger letting me have it!"  
  
"Why are you doing this to me?!"  
  
Oohh, stay up for the following chapter: COMPLEX  
  
Hugs, Josefine 


	5. Complex

A/N :I'm soo sorry for the delay, there was some strange things going on at FF.N the first time I tried uploading this chapter, and it didn't work. But now I hope it'll working out fine, because I'm finally finished with chapter five!! Thanks to Lady Doncaster, and Peep! This one's for you!  
  
Enjoy! And of course... REVIEW!  
  
  
  
5: COMPLEX  
  
Lucius Malfoy was very happy. Very self-satisfied. Quite enjoying the moment.  
  
"Boyfriend's locking you out, eh?" He leaned against the cold stonewall and watched Avalon Lambert standing outside Slytherin entrance with great amusement. He would have expected a "sod off", but was given a quite surprising respond.  
  
Avalon turned around in a flash and grabbed Lucius by his shoulders, looking desperate.  
  
"You need to let me in, Lucius! I don't know the password, and Severus is in there, I've GOT to talk to him!" Lucius almost dropped his jaw, but them got an even more self-satisfied look on his pale face.  
  
"Begging me for help, are we? Desperately begging on your knees, are you?" In an instant, Avalon pressed him up against the wall with such force he lost his breath.  
  
"Don't push it!" She growled dangerously. "Either you're gonna let me in, or you'll be leaving with your wand shoved up your arse!"  
  
Lucius looked convinced, he feared Avalon was a "man" of her word as well as Severus…  
  
"Geez, what is with the threatening already…?" He muttered and stepped up to the entrance.  
  
"Dagger blade. Cosy password, eh?" he joked and smiled a little at Avalon. Avalon didn't give a shit about the password; as soon as the door opened she ran over Lucius and flew up the stair to Severus' door.  
  
Then she got a little uncertain of what to say. She knocked softly.  
  
"Severus…?" No answer. God dammit…  
  
"Severus. Open the door… please?" What's the use anyway?  
  
"Alohomora." The door clicked open. A big surprise. Severus always used some extra spell to make the door unbreakable.  
  
She stepped in.  
  
Severus was actually standing up, by the window, his back was turned to her and his hair had fallen over his face. He looked really calm, judging by the way his tall dark figure was standing completely still.  
  
"I…" Avalon started. "I wanted you to know that… I don't blame you. That thing in the courtroom, I just… it was such a shock and…"  
  
She noticed the purple potion stains on the wall and the broken bottles lying on all over the floor. Severus didn't move.  
  
"You know… you never told me your father… was…"  
  
Then he moved. Not much though, the just pressed his hands against his face, wishing he could go under ground.  
  
"I- I guess I should have known…" Avalon continued. "I mean, taking the way he always acted about us, and… I saw what kind of person he was… I know this must be strange for you…"  
  
"He was my father." Severus suddenly snapped. Avalon went quiet.  
  
She could hear Severus was breathing hard in frustration.  
  
"I know he was a Death Eater, and he wasn't the best father ever, and know I know he killed your parents, but he was… he is my father." As he said this, he turned around, facing Avalon with such darkness in his eyes her blood froze. Was he acting defensive? Avalon didn't even dare to think about it.  
  
"I know that, Severus, it's not like you have to remind of how complicated this has turned out to be! But I thought you never… never liked him, did he ever act like a father to you?" She stepped closer to him; trying to make deeper contact than the cold, shallow look he was giving her. "Did he ever love you like a father should?" When she reached out to touch his shoulder, Severus snapped away from her and almost screamed:  
  
"How would you know!? You never knew him! He was a father in other ways! He was the only person I had in my life! When my mother moved away, it was all up to him! You…" Severus turned away again. "You don't know what you're talking about."  
  
Now it was Avalon's turn to loose her temper.  
  
"Don't know what I'm talking about?!" She growled and turned Severus around forcefully. "I WOULDN'T KNOW? I took care of you! You came crawling up on my doorstep every night, beaten to a bloody pulp! I washed that blood from your face, I watched over you and held you in my arms until you fell asleep! You can't possibly tell me that I DON'T KNOW!" Avalon stared into his eyes, and saw nothing but emptiness. She quietly let go of his shirt and lowered her head a bit.  
  
"Would you listen to your self?" Severus said. "Look at us, this is fucking crazy! It's too complex, leave me alone!" Severus got up to leave, but Avalon pleadingly grabbed his wrist.  
  
"I just want to know how feel about this." She said quietly.  
  
Severus stopped and turned his head away.  
  
"I feel like an orphan." Avalon's grip around his wrist tightened a bit.  
  
"That makes two of us." She answered. Severus turned around.  
  
"You see? We obviously bring nothing but pain into each other's life." And with that he tore himself away from her and sunk down on his bed, face turned away.  
  
"Severus, please don't shut me out of your life." Avalon pleaded.  
  
Severus closed his eyes as he forced himself to say the one word he wished he didn't have to utter:  
  
"Leave." A tear trickled down Avalon's face, and she rushed over to his side.  
  
"Severus, please-"  
  
"Don't you see?" Severus whispered. "Can't you see what's happening to us? Your parents, your home, my father, my family-name. Nothing but pain. It couldn't possibly, ever be the same again." Avalon bit her lip. Hard.  
  
"We just can't give up on each other now, can we? It couldn't end here, this… this can't be it, right?" Severus refused to meet her eyes, nor would he grab her hand in the comforting way he always did.  
  
"Then how come it is?"  
  
  
  
  
  
Avalon was walking back to Gryffindor Tower. She was cold, her whole body was shivering even though she was well dressed and the castle had been warmed up for the coming winter.  
  
When she stopped outside the portrait whole, a realisation hit her. She hadn't been in the Gryffindor Tower since she found out about her parents. She had spent the night at Severus', gone to court the next day… Avalon stepped into the common room, still and looked around solemnly.  
  
Immediately, Lily Evans got up from a chair near the fire and rushed over to her.  
  
"Avalon? Oh God, have I been worried sick about you! What happened, you weren't in class today, Dumbledore said you had special reasons, and you didn't come to the dorms the night before… Where have you been?" She said all this very fast and in one single breath. Avalon kept staring at the floor.  
  
"Avalon is something wrong, you look so sad?" Lily asked concerned. That was it, she couldn't hold anything in anymore. In front of every Gryffindor in the common room she burst into tears, and she didn't even try to hide it. The sobs shook her whole body, and Lily quickly embraced her, trying to let her relax.  
  
"Oh Jesus, Avy… What has happened to you? C'mon, let's go to our room and we can talk." She led Avalon up the stairs and closed the door behind them. And so Avalon told her everything about her parents' death, which she hadn't even had time to mourn for more than one night, and then the trial and Severus father. And how Severus had burst into an emotional explosion of shame, anger, and fear for her, and how he had rejected her. For ever.  
  
"And I don't know how to handle it, I mean what can I do? I can't do a thing, for Severus made it perfectly clear this was going to be too hard for him. He'd rather be alone for the rest of his life…"  
  
Lily got herself together pretty quickly after hearing the shocking story, and sat down next to Avalon.  
  
"I have no answers for you, Avalon, they're yours to find. All I can tell you is that you have to sleep now, and collect your strength, or you will break apart."  
  
"You mean even more than I already have."  
  
  
  
A/N: *big yawn* Oh it's midnight and I've got a school day tomorrow, uuhhh, I'm gonna be a zombie again… Anyway, these kind of chapters always get me tired. Really tired. Really sad actually, really fucking too bad for those two… But just so you know, the story is NOT over yet, you thought I was gonna leave you at this?? Hell no, I'm not that cruel! Even though she's a little confused right now, Avalon is not the girls who takes no for an answer.  
  
Now R.E.V.I.E.W for Christ's sake! If you don't keep me going on this, then you ain't gonna be able to read the ending!  
  
Hugs, J 


	6. By myself

A/N: Thank you again for all the compliments and… the threatening… =)  
  
Some personal thanks ('cause I know it would make you guys happy):  
  
Lexi – Thank you very much, I've never heard my stories are "fantastically written" before! Glad you see Severus in an "entirely different light", that's what this story is supposed to do! Nope, I'm Swedish, got one of the best English grades in my class (not a big surprise).  
  
Lady Doncaster – Yep, that's exactly what I had in mind (keep teasing you that is)! ;) I know, I sure would like to let Avalon kick Lucius butt some day, and maybe I just might let it happen! Or maybe Severus and Avalon could kick his ass together…  
  
Kaypee – don't really know yet what made Severus become a Death Eater in the end, maybe I won't continue this story that long. But if I don't than I can promise you I'll make an sequel that tells the story!  
  
Azure Tail – you're welcome! Yeah, as you can see, I love writing about people fighting (aren't I frighteningly pathetic??)  
  
Serb – Hey, I made it as fast as I could. Hope you're not dead when I post this! *smile*  
  
HqS – Try to calm down, take a deep breath, this chapter is not the last, but the next one might just be! But in the end of this Chapter I have a BIG treat wating!  
  
  
  
READ THIS FIRST: The first part of this chapter is written like a flash back of when Avalon and Severus were ten years old. After the ~*¤*~, time goes back to normal as Severus wakes up from a dream. This dream might have been the flashback, you decide for yourself!  
  
6: BY MYSELF  
  
It was a late summer night.  
  
Right outside Godric's hollow, a small white house stood in the middle of a flower-filled garden. A little sign was nailed up on the fence that said: Welcome to the Lamberts! From a little window on the second floor, a small candle lit up the dark. The girl who slept in that room, didn't like to admit she was afraid of the dark, she just claimed that she and the dark never got along very well.  
  
She was now sleeping peacefully in the dim light, curled up on her bed against the wall, until the distant noise of an engine made her eyes flutter open.  
  
She knew that noise; oh she knew it all too well. It was the sound of the Night Bus. Just as she knew it would, the bus stopped outside the Lambert house, and the doors creaked open. Avalon got up and took the candle with her.  
  
"That'll be four in silver, pal." Said the chauffeur as a lean but quite tall, dark-haired boy made his was for the exit. He turned around and held out the money in his hand, he had paid this exact prize many times before. The chauffeur took them and glanced a little confused on the boys face. Probably just some boy with an attitude-problem who has gotten into a big fistfight… he thought and closed the door behind the boy who stepped out on the sidewalk.  
  
The Night bus rode into the sky as the skinny boy made his way to the door, swaying a little on his feet. As soon as he knocked, Avalon came rushing down the stairs and opened up.  
  
With a little squeak of devastation she through her arms around him.  
  
"Oh, Severus! Not again…" He didn't say a thing, as usual. She noticed how his legs were about to give away, and quickly got a grip of the situation.  
  
With the candle in one hand, and her other arm supporting Severus under his shoulders, they made their way up the stairs and into her room. Avalon laid Severus down on her bed and put the candle aside. She knew what to do, and she knew exactly how important it was that she acted fast. Severus was lying like a dead body, staring up on her ceiling without moving a muscle as Avalon started pealing off his coat and the shirt beneath it. When he was finally stripped on his upper body, Avalon took a step back to get a look of what they were dealing with tonight. This was a view that made her heart scream with agony, and yet she had seen it so many times before, so you might think she had gotten used to it.  
  
Severus looked sickeningly pale in the weak light of the candle, and so his light skin made a sharp contrast to his raven-black hair and dark eyes. And another color painted his appearance: red. Dried blood, fresh blood. Old cuts, bruises, and new ones. All over his naked chest and shoulders, arms and back.  
  
There were more cuts this time, which explained why he was weaker and couldn't stand straight. It seemed like during the last half year, Mr Snape and gone from beating and kicking his son into torturing him with leather- belts and knifes. Avalon bit her jaw together so hard her teeth could've cracked.  
  
"I'll fix it." She said hoarsely and left for the bathroom next door. When she came back with hot water, towels and bandages, Severus had turned his head so that he could watch her as she sat down on the floor and started cleaning his wounds.  
  
It was amazing to she how calm she was by now, considering the way she always burst into tears when he stepped through her door with blood on his face. He just watched her, silently, and winced now and then as the hot water ran through the cuts. Avalon didn't return his gaze; she was concentrated on what she was doing. His skin was almost totally numb from the beating, but he could always feel her small fingers sliding over his chest, caressing his wounds carefully. Avalon usually wanted to wake her parents up, so that they could heal his cuts with their wands, but Severus had told her he didn't want anyone else to know. That was why he always went to her, she was the *only* one who knew.  
  
Avalon was finished with his chest and arms, and now continued to his face. This is were she finally met his eyes, and he could see the candle's reflection in her eyes before he closed his own as she cleaned the cut on his cheekbone.  
  
When her work was done, the water in the bowl on the floor had turned blood red, and the towels were soaked. The bandages were now wrapped around his arms, hands, stomach and neckline. Avalon was just about to put his shirt back on when Severus reached out and stopped her hand. Avalon let him lead her onto the bed, where she sat down against the wall, and she put Severus head in her lap. Severus curled up and found her hand, took it in his and kissed it lightly. It was his way to say thank you when he couldn't make the words leave his mouth. Avalon took her other hand and stroked it gently across his hair, and finally, he could relax. He held her hand against his heart; let her feel its pulse beneath her palm, against his skin.  
  
"Sing for me?" He whispered. Avalon took a deep breath and smiled.  
  
"For you."  
  
~*¤*~  
  
Severus sat up with a start. He didn't wait for his pulse to slow down again, but quickly made his way out of bed and to the window. I've done a terrible mistake… He declared to himself. The memory of Avalon's touch upon his skin and hearing her breath next to him lingered in his mind. Outside, the rain came crashing down on the grounds around Hogwarts, and for the first time in his life, Severus thanked the gods for it. Only when it was raining he knew where to find Avalon; right in the middle of it.  
  
Severus grabbed his pants and a T-shirt, no bother to bring the cloak, he would get soaked anyway. His heart was racing as he quickly made his way through the dark common room and on through the halls, begging that none of the teachers would bump into him.  
  
It had been two weeks since his father's trial; he hadn't talked to Avalon, or even seen her for that matter. He hadn't seen Avalon for fourteen days… he could barely imagine how it would feel to not see her for the rest of his life. He started running as he reached the Great Hall, and soon he stepped out in the rain once again, looking around desperately. The Quidditch Pitch was his first try. But no Avalon was to be found there. He kept running, he looked everywhere, but couldn't find her.  
  
"God, Avalon, where are you, where are you?" He muttered to himself, feeling the rain draining his clothes completely.  
  
He was on his way of giving up, walking back to the main entrance, and that's when it happened.  
  
"Severus?" A bewildered voice reached him through the rain from behind.  
  
Severus stopped dead and raised his head. In a second he had turned around, and was staring right into those pale green eyes. Avalon had been standing on a cliff that rose over the big Lake, she was standing on the edge on the cliff, about thirty feet from the entrance. Maybe she had been planning on jumping from it, landing on the rocks in the water far beneath her. Just to see her, to see that face again, it made his heart wanting to burst.  
  
In an instant, he was there in front of her, pressing his lips upon her forehead, running his hands through her long hair.  
  
"Oh my god," he whispered between kisses, "I've done such a big mistake…" He trailed kisses down her face, and suddenly Avalon grabbed his wrists and kissed him on fully on his mouth. Severus let out a soft moan and instantly responded to her lips. He carefully caressed her soft wet lips, and tasted rain on his tongue. Avalon felt herself shiver and she let go of his wrists and let his hands find their way through her hair again. Severus lost whatever thoughts he had been thinking as his mind when totally blank when Avalon pressed her body against his, feeling only their wet T-shirts between them.  
  
"Oh I was wrong…" he whispered and their lips parted only by an inch. "I was wrong; I didn't know what fuck I was saying. I can't live my life without you, I couldn't live two weeks without you." And with this he kissed her again with such longing that tears started to fall down his face.  
  
And oh how Avalon wanted to tell him about her last two weeks. She wanted to tell him she had suffered just as much as him, that being apart from him made her crazy, made her loose her mind. But she couldn't, she couldn't speak those words now that he was back in her arms, and her feelings for him suddenly had exploded into to longing… and love.  
  
"I'm so sorry," Severus continued. "I'm so, so sorry." Avalon kissed him again and stroked his hair. Oh, what a familiar touch.  
  
"Don't be." She had to tell him. "I've missed you too. If you only knew…"  
  
  
  
A/N: … what's to say…  
  
(except that this is NOT over yet!) 


	7. From now and on

A/n: Phew, that was… intense don't ya think? Anyway, after that I just had to take a little break from this story to deal with a major writer's-block. And so I started a completely meaningless story, which I've named Durmstrang Masquerade. It's about a girl starting at Durmstrang, meeting Viktor Krum, hating him a little since he's a total snob and so on. But I do think Viktor Krum is absolutely adorable…  
  
Thanks to…  
  
Lady Doncaster - *takes a bow* I was really satisfied with that part, I just had this perfect mental picture of how Severus looked as a child so I waned it to show in the story.  
  
Clover – wait and see, for further complications, read Revenge on Reality.  
  
Laurs – Thank you thank you! I also miss really good Snape stories, also I hope this one makes him justice…  
  
Natalie – Aahh… pretty please always gets me writing, her you go and thank so much for reviewing.  
  
SilverFang – Hey look, I finally updated! Please update your story soon!  
  
Arabians - *beams* you made me very happy.  
  
HgS – what's that supposed to mean??  
  
And just so you know, this is the last chapter. *sob* I'll miss this! Or maybe I won't… I've done this as a sort of songfic of Creed's One Last Breath. If you don't like that song, just read the chapter and ignore the lyrics put in between.  
  
Hmm anyway, If you guys want to know what later on made Severus once again turn to the Dark Side, read my sequel: Revenge on Reality  
  
Enjoy, after all this is the only happy ending you'll ever read coming from a sad little writer like me!  
  
7: FROM NOW AND ON  
  
A couple of weeks later  
  
  
  
Can a heart survive something like this? Can it stay alive when its love's denied for too long, in too many ways? When it's all over and your life is left in a heap of broken thoughts, can it be saved? Can it go on?  
  
Could it find love and claim to that light?  
  
  
  
Please come now  
  
I think I'm falling  
  
Falling on a road I think is safe  
  
I seems I've found the road to nowhere  
  
And I'm trying to escape  
  
I yelled back when I heard thunder  
  
But I'm down to one last breath  
  
And with it let me say, let me say  
  
The sunlight made her figure glow so beautifully as she bent down in the grass, her hair fallen forward, dressed in breathtaking white. On the top of that hill, she looked like an angel who had fallen from the skies. The tomb in front of her gleamed in the sun; reflecting the names of her parents, her longed ones, her loved ones. She placed a forget-me-not on the ground next to it, so gracefully. But she did not cry, for she was done with sorrow and through with mourning. In her heart, she knew they saw her, and she knew she would go on the rest of her life missing them still.  
  
"Don't forget me, okay?" She whispered softly, tracing her fingers on the carved letters. "I'm still down here and I won't ever forget you guys."  
  
And, as small smile spread on her face, she got up and turned around.  
  
Hold me now  
  
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking  
  
Maybe six feet's not so far down  
  
He stood there waiting. Hands in his pockets, barely a weak smile on his lips but with so much love and understanding in his eyes hid did not need to speak. She smiled at him, walked down the hill and up to him.  
  
He felt himself go warm inside; he took her hand and drew her to him. They kissed for a long time, and she could feel him smiling against her lips.  
  
And they turned away, his arm around her shoulders as they started walking back to their lives. With only each other to rely on.  
  
I'm looking back  
  
Now that it's over  
  
Reflecting on the hole of my mistakes  
  
I thought I'd found the road to somewhere  
  
Somewhere in his grace  
  
I cried out, heaven save me  
  
But I'm down to one last breath  
  
And with it let me say, let me say  
  
"I love you," said Severus, and then quickly got back to studying the beautiful flowers as they kept walking. Avalon turned her face towards him, her eyes shining.  
  
"Is that so?" Severus laughed at this and held her even closer with his arm around her.  
  
"Obviously. I didn't plan to say that now." Avalon stifled a giggle. "I mean," Severus scratched his head, "I was actually going to talk to you about where you were going to live from now on and…" Severus always started to stutter his way through complete nonsense when he got nervous. "'Cause I thought maybe this wasn't the time to come forward with those thoughts, even though I… I mean I don't know why it just slipped out of me. But anyway, since summer vacation is coming up I thought -"  
  
"Severus," Avalon interrupted.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"I love you." Severus felt his heart jump twice in one second.  
  
"Oh." … … … "Then… we have an understanding…" Avalon smiled at him.  
  
"I guess we do."  
  
"So… You want to live with me this summer?" Avalon stopped walking and stared at him.  
  
"Live with you? At… Snape mansion?"  
  
"No! I'm not staying there, my mother had a lot of homes before she moved away, there is an empty house in Hogsmeade that's mine now, and I just thought…" Damn, it was still so hard to put in to words. "I… don't think I could spend the summer alone, and now you're alone as well, and god forbidden I won't let you be sent to some orphans'-home in London." He was going to go on but was cut off as Avalon kissed him again, clearly showing her approval.  
  
"What would I do without you." She whispered.  
  
Hold me now  
  
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking  
  
Maybe six feet's not so far down  
  
They soon reached Hogwarts in time for the spring feast.  
  
Slytherin won the House Cup, Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup. Severus and Avalon sat at their own tables, saying their goodbyes to their friends for this summer.  
  
"You're not coming to the Hogwarts Express?" Lily asked, trying to be heard over the cheers and screams. Avalon shook her head.  
  
"I'm staying in Hogsmeade with Severus this summer." She explained. Just at that moment, every student took of their hats and threw them into the air, Dumbledore as well. In an instant, Severus was behind her, smiling broadly at her.  
  
"Hey there!" Said Avalon cheerfully.  
  
"Not just for the summer," he smiled. "I kind of had my heart set on… I don't know, like every other summer and year from now on?" When Lily heard this, she giggled madly and turned away. Avalon stared at him as if he was crazy.  
  
"N- not just this – w- what?"  
  
Severus got her on her feet and walked her out of there.  
  
"You packed? I wanna beat the crowd, everyone knows about our little series of events by now…"  
  
"You call me sometime!" Lily called after them.  
  
"Mm…" Avalon mumbled, still a little flabbergasted. They were at the end of the Great Hall, ready to leave Hogwarts once again…  
  
Sad eyes follow me  
  
But I still believe there's something there for me  
  
So please come, stay with me  
  
'Cause I still believe there's something there for you and me  
  
For you and me, for you and…  
  
"Snape! Lambert!" Severus and Avalon froze with identical looks of disappointment over the fact that they couldn't sneak out unnoticed.  
  
What did that brat want now?  
  
The boy in front of them smiled arrogantly, leaning against the doorpost to block their way.  
  
"Leaving so soon? Are you sure you should move in together? Maybe you'll end up killing each other, I mean it must be in your family genes." Enough is enough, thought Avalon. She gave him a straight punch in his face, making him fall to the floor immediately.  
  
"See you next year, Lucius." Severus growled, opened the door and stepped over the silver-haired boy lying on the floor crawling with pain.  
  
"Nice hit." He admitted as Avalon stepped over him and followed Severus out the door.  
  
"Why thank you, Malfoy." And then they were gone.  
  
Please come now  
  
I think I'm falling  
  
Falling on a road I think is safe.  
  
  
  
  
  
End.  
  
  
  
This summer: Lucius walked around with a black eye, James Potter proposed to Lily Evans, and Avalon spent her vacation with Severus at his house in Hogsmeade, which needed a lot of cleaning up…  
  
Later in their happy little lives: everything messed up again. Please read Revenge on Reality. It will be published in a few weeks.  
  
Special thanks to: SilverFang and Lady Doncaster.  
  
  
  
Tell me! 


End file.
